Birthdays

Today I am thinking about birthdays.  Although there were many things we did wrong in our co-parenting journey with our teens, I think one thing that we did remarkably well was birthdays.

Every year when AJ and Scotty had a birthday, we had a joint dinner.  The first year it was just my boys, myself, and their dad.  We chose to set that day aside and give our kids the gift of having their family together at one table.  As the years went by, that table got bigger, and grew to include step parents and step siblings, friends, and grandparents, both step and biological.  Even today, with the boys all grown up, the birthday dinner tradition continues.

I am not suggesting that every co-parenting relationship can handle this.  What I would suggest that people consider is that no matter what changed for you, no matter what brought your relationship to an end, it didn't end the love that your children have for their family.  If you can possibly manage it, they will appreciate a chance to continue to spend time as a family on special occasions.  To be honest, it also takes care of all the rough edges over the long run and creates an ease that will help the adults at future important events - like graduations, weddings, etc...  These events should be joyful and stress free, and if you build the foundation early, that won't be an issue in the future.

Best of luck!